Letters to my children
I'm starting a tradition of writing letters to my children once a year for their birthdays. Someday when they are grown, I will give them these letters so they can always have the thoughts and emotion of their mother's heart put to words.
My dear 1 year old June,
I remember that 4am hour, waking up knowing that March 30, 2015 would be the day of your birth. I had butterflies feeling those early birthing waves, as you signaled you were ready to leave your perfect home and be welcomed by the outside world. Birthing you naturally, at home, was just what we both needed. I pulled you up out of the water and held your tiny 6.5 pound body close to mine. I had prayed for you before you were born and knew that God was creating you to be the perfect little girl for me and your daddy - and sure enough you are! I am still amazed that you have ten fingers and toes and all the other physical components that make you "perfect" in the world's eyes. But you were created for so much more than a perfect appearance. Your little heart and eager spirit will bloom into something beautiful - not of anything that you will do, but of what God will do through you, if you let Him. Your father and I are commitment to raising you with God's help, as He gives us love, compassion, tenderness, forgiveness and wisdom to nurture you.
What I share next is in no way to shame you or make you feel bad for these early days, but I share it because of how God used it for good. You were severely colic your first three months, and we spent all your waking hours holding you, walking with you, and singing to you as we tried to ease your cries. We cried out to God for help each day, and when your dad was home from school he would take you outside and patiently walk with you up and down the lane between the barns. I'd join your dad after putting your brother to bed, and we'd pace back and forth into the sunset together. It's a place that's saturated with tears, love, and prayer. Even though our hearts were aching for you to be happy and comfortable, they were filled with the beauty of God's setting sun each day and hope for a new tomorrow.
Those sunsets gave me strength and hope, and an even deeper passion for God's beautiful creation. I hope you'll grow up to love them just as much as I do so we can watch them together and strengthen the bond we've already established. Of course your days of colic are long gone now, and we are grateful for how God used this time to get us outside every evening together and come face to face with His spender. These early days were raw and emotional, but God never withheld a piece of His goodness. And so the same may be at various times in your life, but we encourage you to always look for how God is working in the midst of any tears.
Your great grandma Ruth went to heaven when you were 4 months old. I am so grateful that she was able to meet you and hold you. You were a little light to her in her final days. There's a song that she would sing called, "I'll be a sunbeam," and it's your song, June. I changed "sunbeam" to "June-beam," which is just what you are, a little shining June-beam.
"Jesus wants me for a June-beam, to shine for him each day; in every way try to please Him, and home, at school, at play. A June-beam, a June-beam, Jesus wants me for a June-beam; a June-beam, a June-beam, I'll be a June-beam for Him."
Happy 1st Birthday, June!
Things June loves:
vintage coat and hat: Funky Finds Vintage
handmade upcycle romper and party hat made from $1 thrift store shirt | raspberry cupcakes: The Sweetery in Rockford, IL